Random Observations from Preseason Game 4: Pats vs. Giants

I’ll warn you at the start, this is going to be a very cursory look at the annual Just Don’t Get Anyone Injured Against the Giants Bowl. The 4th preseason game is like the shallow end of the pool in that, taking a deep dive into it can kill or permanently disable you. So my half-baked observations:

–I’ll begin where we should, our first really extended look at Danny Etling. And my scorching, million degrees Kelvin, supernova-hot take is … mixed? I mean, I don’t pretend to be Quarterback Camp Jon Gruden when it comes to evaluating the position. And I’ve seen some QBs come through here who looked terrible in August but made the final roster. So I’ve always believed that most of the evaluation takes place in the practice bubble and at the white board in the meeting room. But who knows? The Patriots methods on this are shrouded in mystery and anyone who speaks of their secret ways outside the walls of the sacred temple dies accursed. Anyway, Etling can clearly make throws, seems to make quick decisions and the game doesn’t appear altogether too fast for him. But his mechanics break down. A lot. As in really often. He can throw a ball off his back foot, like the one that went 32-yards in the air and hit Paul Turner right in his (butter) fingers. Which is the main problem with Etling. We do not want QBs throwing off their back foot. Never ever. As anyone who lived through the Drew Bledsoe era will tell you. That way is fraught with danger. Like the interception he threw late in the 1st half was essentially a fadeaway jumper that didn’t hit the rim because he got nothing on it. Another time he didn’t have his feet under him and badly overthrew KJ Maye wide open on a deep out. Another time he missed Will Tye in the flat because he was (ironically enough) flat-footed. But if he be coached up on not breaking down every time he’s pressured, the potential is there.

–The positives with Etling though were evident as well. He moves well. He extended that one play where he scrambled to his right and at a full sprint hit Lucien for a nice gain. He made a great back-shoulder throw to Turner who never (more irony) never turned on it. And if you’re looking to design a play where your quarterback takes it around the end for an 86-yard touchdown run, he’s the best guy currently on this roster for that.

–But unless he improves, I’m going to use his name as a figure of speech. “Etl. (et*el) verb: To throw a football badly due to poor fundamentals. “‘When pressure came from the outside, the quarterback began Etling.'”

–The biggest negative of this preseason is the totally unexpected fall of Jason McCourty. How can a guy with 122 career games on his curriculum vitae, and how graded out as one of the Top 10 corners in football last year be playing safety in a game played by guys who’ll be filling out job applications in a few days? It’s unfathomable to me. The best case scenario is that the coaches felt that putting him in centerfield – deep, deep centerfield – would give him some valuable experience seeing the calls and learning the communication, which is absolutely essential in this defense. When Darrelle Revis got here, he was used to just locking in on his man, taking him out of the game and making it a 10-on-10 game. It wasn’t until Brandon Browner lit into him in camp for not communicating and they almost started throwing fists that he started learning to verbalize calls. The worst case scenario is that J-Mac is somehow washed up at age 30 and becomes this preseason’s high profile cut, like Terance Knighton a couple of years ago. God, I hope it’s the former and not the latter. I was just getting used to him wearing Duron Harmon’s No. 3. And I even thing I was beginning to tell the difference between him and Devin.

–It’s good to see the officials getting their flag-throwing work in. I think the whole country is really excited about interminable games filled with the high-octane adrenaline rush of middle aged men holding committee meetings.

–But these flag happy old coots did manage to inadvertently provide the highlight of the Patriots fauxball season: Bill Belichick beefing with the side judge about a personal foul Helmet Rule call that went against the Giants. Of all my Belichicks, my favorite is probably Football Purist Bill.

–I’m also a huge fan of the Bill That Uses Preseason to Groom Coaches. Last year it was Brian Flores getting to make some of the calls, and now he’s the Defensive Coordinator Without Title. Last night it was wide receivers coach Chad O’Shea, with Josh McDaniels up in the booth for the first time ever. So mark it down: Chad O’Shea will be the next head coach of the Cleveland Browns.

–I’d like to think JC Jackson grabbed hold of one of the last cornerback roster slots and wrestled it to the ground like a demon snake. He’s really stood out in practices. He had two interceptions, the first of which should be on a coaching tape, his technique was so flawless. He stayed right on the receiver’s hip while looking back on the ball. Just textbook. Given the DBs come through here who let ball after ball whistle past their earholes without ever turning their head (looking at you, Darius Butler), this kid has earned the chance to be Malcolm Butler 2.0.

–Later on, JCJ was initially beat on a deep ball, but recovered to bat the ball away, which was probably a PI, but he got away with it like the good ones do. We could live without his half-assed effort on Amba Etta-Tawo’s catch and run touchdown. But I was more appalled by AJ Moore, a longshot to make even the practice squad, slide across the receiver’s path instead of trying to push him out of bounds. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn they told him to take an Uber home because he’d not getting on Mr. Kraft’s plane after that.

–Another positive at corner was Cyrus Jones. After missing his first two seasons, it’s obviously a make-or-break preseason for him, and he played like it. He was aggressive, Jamming guys at the line, knocking them off their routes, making a great form tackle to drop a receiver at the spot he caught the ball. And he looks confident returning punts. I always like to see a Bama guy make the roster because Belchick and Nick Saban are so psychically linked. But between him, Jason McCourty and Jackson, there probably won’t be three CB slots available. It’s gonna be interesting.

–On the other side of the depth chart, it’s impossible not to root for the running back with the plumber’s name, Ralph Webb. He has that ability to get small slipping through holes in the interior. He’s looked good catching swing passes. The numbers are against him, but with Sony Michel and Rex Burkhead injured for what seems like forever, he might make the roster for the first few games and then we’ll see.

–If there’s one thing about fake football games I can never process, it’s that the kickers go for touchbacks. Isn’t the whole point of this colossal waste of time and energy to practice and evaluate your talent? What do we learn from watching guys run up field, not make a play and the ball just gets put at the 25?

Anyway, I’ve already gone on too long. Winter sucks so much I think it sin to wish summer away. There’s still a little bit left in the bottom of the keg that is the Summer of 2018 and I’m going to drink the barrel dry. But at the same time, September 9th at 1:05 against the Houston Texans cannot come fast enough. Kick the ball off, already.